At ShareWell, we hold space for real conversations, ones filled with vulnerability, honesty, and healing. But sometimes, someone may share something heavy, like thoughts of self-harm or suicide. When that happens, it’s important that our self-harm response occurs with care while keeping the group safe.
This guide is here to support you so you feel equipped to navigate these moments with compassion, respect, and clarity.
First, a Grounding Reminder: We Are Not Mental Health Professionals
ShareWell is a platform for peer support. That means we offer connection, understanding, and community, not clinical care. No one in our groups is expected to act as a therapist or crisis responder, and it’s important we honor that boundary.
When someone brings up self-harm or suicidal thoughts, your role is not to fix the situation. Instead, your focus should be to:
- Acknowledge and validate their feelings
- Gently redirect them toward professional help
- Ensure the group remains a safe space for everyone
- Flag the incident so our safety team can follow up
What to Say (If It Happens During a Group)
If someone shares thoughts of self-harm in a group, it’s okay to feel unsure. Here are some examples of self-harm response that are grounded, compassionate way:
Start with empathy and validation:
- “Thank you for trusting us with that. I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way, it sounds incredibly hard.”
- “You’re not alone, and it’s really brave of you to speak up.”
Reinforce the limitations of the space:
- “This group isn’t equipped to provide the kind of support you might need right now.”
- “We’re not trained professionals, but we do care deeply—and want to help you get the right kind of support.”
Ask if they feel safe:
- “Are you feeling safe right now?”
- “Do you think you can stay safe for the rest of the group?”
Then guide them toward the next step:
- If they are in immediate danger:
“It’s important that you stay safe. Please consider reaching out to a crisis line right now. We can stay here with you while you do.” - If they’re not in immediate danger:
“I’m really glad you’re here. I’m going to drop the crisis number in the chat—please know it’s always there if you need it.”
Crisis Resources: - Call or text 988 (U.S. National Crisis Line)
- Text HOME to 741741 for immediate support
Encouraging Words That Offer Hope
Sometimes, gentle reframing can help someone feel more seen:
- “The fact that you’re talking about this shows strength. You’re choosing to keep going.”
- “We’d love to see you back in group, but your safety comes first. Please take care of yourself and reach out to someone trained to help.”
- “There’s support out there, and you deserve it.”
Bringing the Group Back Together
After a heavy share or self-harm response, it’s important to check in with the rest of the group. Whether the person stays or leaves, you can help the space feel grounded again.
If they stay in the group, try saying:
- “Thank you for trusting us. Let’s take a moment to talk about ways we each cope when things feel overwhelming.”
- “What’s one small thing you do to care for yourself in tough times?”
If they leave the group, gently check in:
- “That was a heavy moment—how’s everyone feeling right now?”
- “Let’s take a few deep breaths together.”
- “Thank you for holding space. I really hope they’re able to get the help they need.”
What Not to Do
In moments like this, it’s just as important to know what not to do:
- 🚫 Don’t share your personal contact information
- 🚫 Don’t dig into details or ask probing questions
- 🚫 Don’t offer counseling or advice beyond your role
If the mention happens in private chat, follow the same approach: Acknowledge their feelings, encourage professional help, and avoid extended one-on-one conversations. Then flag it so our team can take over.
Culture of Safety: Why Flagging Is Essential
If someone shares thoughts of self-harm, whether privately or in the group, it’s your responsibility to flag the comment. This alerts our trained safety team to follow up and provide the right support.
It might feel awkward, but taking action can make a meaningful difference. Safety always comes first.
🛑 Peer Safety PSA: If self-harm is mentioned, please flag the message so we can respond quickly and appropriately.
Want More Support? We’ve Got You.
If you’re a host looking to deepen your skills, check out our free Host Training Program, which includes:
- Crisis response scripts
- Roleplay scenarios
- Best practices for handling high-emotion moments
👉 Explore the Host Training Program
And if you ever feel unsure or need guidance, you can always reach out to us at support@sharewellnow.com. You’re not alone.
Together, We Create Safer Spaces
Holding space for someone in distress can feel heavy, but your presence and compassion can be grounding in a powerful way. Thank you for being someone who shows up with empathy, protects the integrity of the space, and helps others feel seen.
You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to care, and you do.
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